What I Needed

February 28, 2012 in 2012 Fast, Christianity, Life | Leave a comment

It was a little past 7:30 a.m.
I was exhausted and dreading going to my racquetball class that started at 8.
I grabbed yogurt and granola, sat on the couch and contemplated what to do with the fifteen minutes I had before class beckoned.

To be quite honest, I would normally bring out my computer and iFacebook for the fifteen minutes — it doesn’t require much brain power and I wasn’t in the mood for thinking.
Knowing that I had just been struck with the whole point of my Lent fast — to spend the time you would use for one thing on Christ — I cracked open my Bible and read this:

“Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil, hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality.”

Romans 12: 9-12

I need these instructions this morning. More than anything else, I needed to hear every single one of these verses. The rest of my day has been spent reminding myself to do these things — to hold fast to what is good, to be patient in tribulation — those are direct punches to the gut full of conviction that God is good.

Maybe this Lent thing has something to it.

Day One: The Start

February 23, 2012 in 2012 Fast, Christianity | Leave a comment

With Lent comes many people’s opinions on sacrifice, ritual, religion and the intersection of the three.
This year — to be more focused on personal relationships and on my faith — I have decided to fast from Facebook for these forty days leading up to Resurrection Sunday.

Why?

Because I can.
Because I have an inkling I should.
Because I don’t spend enough time dwelling on the foundations of my faith.
Because I waste time.
Because I have thought about doing this for awhile.
Because I want to hear about people’s lives from them and I want to tell them about mine in person for a change.
Because I think it’s going to be a short 40 days, but an impactful 40 days all the same.

Don’t get me wrong; I love Facebook. It’s kept me connected to so many different people from a variety of stages in my life. I will be back, I promise. I need this fast for myself… this is not an action that should be taken as a social commentary on our society’s problems. This has nothing to do with our society’s problems.

It’s about me.

It’s the end of day one. Nothing really feels different. I have gotten a few texts asking why we aren’t Facebook friends… so far responding to those has been the most awkward part. Balancing between telling your friends you are doing this but not sounding “holier than thou” is a little hard at times. But hey, I’m sure they’ll get that this has nothing to do with them. I love them the same! (If they didn’t know that, they do now!)

I have definitely typed into the web browser and gone to facebook.com several times simply out of habit, which is scary. But I do that with Baylor email, too, after four years, so it is understandable.

A by-product of this move that I wasn’t expecting was the urge I had later today to begin blogging about this choice. Suddenly I had made a pact with myself to limit my time on social media and to up my time writing, reading and thinking about faith. The writing my blog has been populated with is truly my favorite type of writing — non-fiction writing that simply takes a small, small portion of this large, large life and dissects it for its intricacies and purposes.

With more time, I think this 40 days will produce some fantastic spiritual growth and some innovative blog posts.

Community: Who’s directing you where?

January 28, 2012 in Christianity, writing | Leave a comment

In years previous, I was an ardent believer that my personal life was, in fact, personal.

A funny childhood story is where this stems from.

Enter 3rd Grade Nick Dean, just as talkative as I am today but with less… social awareness. It was fire safety day in class and the local Fire Department had wheeled in a makeshift house to teach us the popular Stop, Drop and Roll method and the proper way to exit a blazing house.

At the end of the day, the firemen were asking my class questions about our homes so we would know what to do if our specific house caught fire.

The only question I remember to this day is: “Does everyone’s room have a window?”

My response, out loud in front of everyone?

“I don’t have a window. I live in a closet!”

…………. yeah, I was that kid.

To be fair to my awesome mother, I didn’t actually live in a closet. It was a huge room with awesome bookshelves that I wish I still had. I just didn’t have a window because it was in the back part of an apartment that had apartments on both sides. I repeat: I did not live in a closet.

I guess I called it a closet for who knows why, but my teacher ended up talking with my mother, who then ended up talking to me. The lesson was “what happens in our house is our business and stays in this house.”(My mother, like all mothers, has a way with words that make your kid never forget.)

I took her lesson a little too seriously, I think. It’s not her fault that I had a natural tendency to want to keep most about myself to myself.

Actually, that’s not true either. Really, I wanted to keep my struggles and my flaws to myself. I was fine talking about surface level things like achievements, plans for the future or recent happenings in my life.

But my character flaws? My struggles? No way.

I have learned, however, that when you have a good community of people who care about you — regardless of faults and flaws — you will gain much and grow a ton by opening up. Do not read this as a suggestion to open up to any and all people. In fact, read this the exact opposite. I am simply saying that once you have found the people in your life that love you unconditionally, open up. They are in your life for a reason and they are definitely struggling, too.

It’s human to struggle. I think we all have a tendency to pull back, to retreat within and never let the flaws surface. But facing flaws face-to-face gives you the power to accept your depravity. Let your closest friends be your sounding board. Let them keep you accountable. We’re called to care for others and that care can come in the form of listening to your friend and building accountability.

A person’s strongholds become less powerful and restrictive when his/her closest friend is also in on the fight. Blind spots are more easily seen and the troughs of life are a little less daunting when our personal struggles are shared with those that are the absolute closest to us. We’re going to fall because all of man has already fallen, just make sure you have people there to pick you up.

Inspect the people you are surrounded by. Build relationships first, then open up lines of trust. In order to grow and change for the better, you have to ensure that the people you are trusting are trustworthy and committed to you. You’ll want to reciprocate the help for them, too. We are all in this together; we’re brothers and sisters. If your community is not currently engaged in this spiritual support, maybe you need to take the first step.

Love and be loved.
Care and be cared for.
Ask and be asked.
Give and be given.
Encourage and be encouraged.

Sure, my personal life is personal. But it’s also deprave and broken. Only Christ can fix me, but my friends point me to Him. Where are you directing your friends? Where are they directing you? These are the important questions.

“Again I saw that under the sun the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, nor bread to the wise, nor riches to the intelligent, nor favor to those with knowledge, but time and chance happen to them all.”

Ecclesiastes 9:11

Peace, like a river

January 25, 2012 in Christianity, Life | Tags: , , , , , , | 1 comment

It’s been a while since I have written on my blog. For the quickest update, there’s this: I am living in Waco with one of my best friends, Chris, and I am finishing up my dual degrees in journalism and political science at Baylor.

I graduate in May 2012.

This post is about why that is just so daunting.

I have written in awhile because, frankly, so much has happened in my life these past few weeks (and months) that I simply can’t process it in time for a legitimate blog that would actually help someone. I have no remorse for not posting. I do regret, however, not writing in a personal journal or on unpublished posts for quite sometime. I am going to blame it on what I call “marination time.”

You see, so much has happened these past few months that if Old Nick stood next to Current Nick and talked, I don’t think we would sound like the same person at all… I really believe that my mindset, goals, perspective on life and drive has changed THAT much.

It’s scary, really. People love to say that “people never change.” I simply don’t believe that. We have to change. It’s Biblical to grow, learn and alter your mindset. Michael Criner, my college pastor here in Waco at First Woodway, once said that when you love God, you start to love what God loves. (For a funny side note, Author Anne Lamott once wrote: ‘You can safely assume that you’ve created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do.’)

I have been working on loving God, on realizing my purpose (I wrote about that a little bit here in a post for First Woodway College Ministry) and on recognizing my true passions.

From that journey so far, I only have one piece of advice: Don’t start asking yourself about your TRUE passions and purposes unless you actually want to know them. Because God, in his infinite wisdom and mysterious plan, can really stir things up.

So, yeah, I haven’t written that much. But don’t worry, world. You can’t shut me up that quickly. I am simply marinating in these thoughts. Once I have mentally digested a large enough portion of this stage of life, I’ll be sure to upload my commentary on it. I am most thankful for His peace. It’s the only thing getting me through the journey.

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
 When sorrows like sea billows roll;
 Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
 It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Until I am ready,

ND

His tomorrow

December 15, 2011 in Christianity, Life, London 2011, Travel, writing | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 1 comment

Colleen, Ciera, Caty, me, Jenny and Griselda at Abbey Road in St. John's Wood

It seems like the timing couldn’t have been better. Just as I began my internship at The Church of England Newspaper major national news happened right here in London: the Archbishops faced several challenges in the House of Lords, the Occupy London protesters chose St. Paul’s Cathedral as their base camp and Parliament was passing major legislation that heavily affected the Church. Basically, a news junky’s best combo.

My first week here was a whirlwind, and it was only seven weeks ago. In three days I covered St. Paul’s protesters and two Parliamentary meetings on international issues. I remember leaving work on that first Friday with Big Ben shining yellow and patina green as Londoners hustled past him, thinking: “I need to get as much as I can from this.”

I had to tell myself that throughout the three and a half months here. I had to keep metaphorically slapping myself in the face. “Nick, your opportunities here are great. How many people would want this? You’ve wanted to be here for so long.”

Here I am, two days away from an airplane ride back to the states. That reality pains me. Deep down, I can’t believe the time to leave is already here. I’m conflicted. Parts of me are itching to get out of this City and back to my friends and family in Texas and Hawaii. Another part is absolutely entranced by the European lifestyle and Big City life in general.The things that happen here are fascinating, there is never a dull moment. Waco, unfortunately, can’t boast such a stat.

So, did I get as much as I could from this internship and this experience? I would say yes, I did. My internship taught me so much as a journalist about perspective and news writing for international issues. I really have a passion for international news and can thank my time in London for strengthening that, while at the same time challenging me to improve my capabilities.

The Church of England Newspaper is run by an incredible staff who have treated me so well. I was afforded so many opportunities and am very thankful. I have included several of my clips in this post.

On a personal level, the growth I have experienced is vast. In fact, I think this experience has affected me to a point that there will need to be much self-reflection to see the whole picture; to understand how much I have grown I will need to pull back the focus and look at my time here from a further distance. This three and a half months has a particular section of my personal growth timeline. It has forever impacted me. How and to what extent is yet to be determined.  All I can say right now is that I am grateful for this experience, especially to my mom who made it possible. I can see how my travels will greatly influence my life, including my writing, and how my time in London had an impact on my character. This transitional point in life reminds me of a song on James Morrison’s new album The Awakening titled “One Life,” where he says: “If I knew yesterday what I know today, where would I be tomorrow?”

Here’s to taking what we’ve learned today with what we would change about yesterday and realizing that it is all apart of His tomorrow.

Five Christmas Songs You Should Be Listening To

December 14, 2011 in Life, Music, Suggestions | Tags: , , , , , , | Leave a comment

We all have the friend that says they dread Christmas season because of the music you hear in retail
shops from about October until min-January. But I realized the other day that there have been so many Christmas classic remakes by talented artists in the past year or two, that surely I could convert
Christmas music haters over to the light-hearted side. So, I put together a list of five Christmas songs
you need to buy and why. Let me know what you think and if you have any other suggestions. Happy Holidays and Cheers from London!

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1. Andrew Belle |  Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas

It’s no secret I am a major Andrew Belle fan. And when I first heard this rendition I pretty much hoped an entire Christmas CD was hitting iTunes soon.Unfortunately, that didn’t happen. All we have this year is this nugget of Christmas greatness. You should be listening to it because it’s a mellowed-out version of a normally peppy song. It’s perfect for background music during the holiday break.


2. The Royal Sons feat. Mariah McManus | Baby, It’s Cold Outside

I literally just started listening to this group this week (shout-out to Alyssa for the link) but man, this is the best version of this song I have heard in awhile. The Christmas classic seems to have gained popularity in recent years. (I will chalk that up to Elf  and Zooey Deschanel.) However, you should be listening to this version. To me, it rivals the She & Him version.


3. Michael Bublé | Cold December Night

That’s right: I put a Bublé song on this list. I sort of can’t believe it because I am not  normally a huge fan. His Christmas CD, however, is really good. This song is a great one to add to your Christmas playlist, too. It’s not a classic per say, and I think that makes it even better.


4. Coldplay | Christmas Lights

Alright, this song has been out for awhile. (Maybe even a year.) But it is the prime example of a great new Christmas song. You should be listening to this for two reasons: 1. It’s Coldplay and 2. The music video is worth the time, too. I know everyone isn’t a huge Coldplay fan, but they should at least make it onto your Christmas playlist to add in the modern day Christmas with the classics.


5. Ben Rector | Jingle Bells

You need to buy Ben Rector’s ENTIRE Christmas CD right now. On the album, Jingle Bells is the most fun. I really haven’t heard a better, more energetic record. It just always puts me in a good mood. Also he gets kudos for taking one of the most generic, repetitive Christmas classics and remaking it into a great track full of rambunctious energy.

Unbelievable blessings: One year, seventeen cities

December 14, 2011 in Life, London 2011, Travel, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 comment

1. Honolulu, Hawaii

I started the year off in Hawaii with my awesome mom. We travelled to Kauai’i, an island in the Hawaiian chain for a few days. We saw waterfalls, went to an awesome luau on the beach and just really enjoyed our time. I rang in the New Year at Waikiki Beach watching fireworks shoot off from the ocean. It was the second time I had spent NYE in Hawaii and was really neat to see fireworks all over the island.

2. Waco, Texas

After Hawaii, I went back to Waco to start the spring semester of my junior year. It was my second semester as Editor in Chief of The Baylor Lariat. One of my best friends, Jessica, came back from the program I am currently doing in London and worked as the Arts&Entertainment editor that semester. The above picture features mine and Jess’ favorite contribution to the staff — awesome Lariat fleeces! It also shows one of my favorite people — Julie Freeman — who is one of the greatest mentor/friends in the world. To explain how incredible Julie is wouldn’t do her justice, your life is lacking without her in it, just trust me. With all the stress and drama of the Lariat newsroom, having these two there that semester was a Godsend.

3. Ruidoso, New Mexico

While I didn’t live here for a really extended amount of time, it is still a part of this year I definitely never want to forget. I was lucky to spend yet another Spring Break with amazing friends. We rented out a mountain cabin for all of us for an entire week in Ruidoso. We made the best of the small mountain town and I really enjoyed planning the trip. With me in the photo is Chris, another Godsend in my life. We have been best friends for a little over a year now and we will be roommates when I come back from London. The Ruidoso trip was full of crazy times and just great friendship. From skiing to lounging and reading in our cabin, we all had an amazing time and I still think about the peacefulness of that week.

4. Washington, D.C. 

I was lucky enough to land a second internship in Washington, D.C. for another summer and spent my break there again this past summer. I worked for the Student Press Law Center in Arlington as a reporter. I was fortunate enough to have my mom visit all the way from Hawaii. The picture is of us in front of my favorite place in the District, the Supreme Court. We got to sit in and hear opinions that day and woke up way early for it. My time in DC was completely different, though I lived in the same place with the same awesome owners I spent a lot of time to myself, reading and writing. I think this past summer was definitely a time when I started to realize how much I enjoyed DC and the possibilities it offers. It’s still one of my favorite American cities, if not my favorite.

 

5. London, England

On September 1, I moved to London for three and a half months not really knowing what to expect. What I found was a city that piqued my interests in so many ways. Its various neighborhoods are awesome, its politics are really neat for a nerd like me, its trees are the coolest I have seen and its people are so very, very different. Studying in London has been one of the most interesting times of my life thus far. I feel like I have changed in some obvious and not so obvious ways. I look forward to moving back to America because I miss my friends but also because I am interested to see how my perspective has changed. What have I learned? How will I see Waco and Texas? Perhaps my favorite thing about London was its proximity to the continent and the ease of travel to other parts of Europe. One of my biggest goals was to travel as much as possible. I think I have done more than I thought I could, and the awesome thing is there is still so much more I want to see. I am thankful for the travel experiences I have this semester. The next cities on this list trips I took during my time in London. Each time I came back from a trip, London felt more like a home. A definite highlight of my time in London is when two of my best friends, Sommer (above) and Jessica, came to visit for the Thanksgiving holiday. An amazing City like London paired with amazing friends like Sommer and Jessica makes for an unforgettable week.

6. Edinburgh, Scotland

My first weekend trip while studying abroad was to Edinburgh, Scotland. To think about the trip now is incredible. So much has changed and I feel like I would have a totally different view of the city now that I have traveled elsewhere. However, we all really enjoyed our time in Edinburgh. One of my favorite things we did was a ghost tour at night through the city. We visited Edinburgh Castle as well. We took a train to Scotland, which was a first for me as well.

7. Madrid, Spain

I can’t even explain how much I loved this place. Knowing enough Spanish to have some conversations there was really neat and made me dread my Spanish IV class in the Spring a little less. We had an awesome hostel experience and encountered some of the best people in Spain. I truly felt like I could have spent a semester in Madrid. If I lived on the continent, I think Spain would be my first choice (except for the whole 50 percent unemployment for people my age.) I did an entire post on my trip to this city that you should read if Spain has ever grabbed your attention. I really miss the paella and the culture and hope to make it back to Spain one day. This photo is of me, Fabian and Carlos (two guys we met while in Spain) all doing a Sic ‘en in front of Madrid’s symbol, a bear and a small tree. Pablo, our tour guide, told me why that was the symbol, but I am pretty sure it was a lie because it was a free tour haha.

8. Zurich, Switzerland

Ok, I will be honest, I didn’t leave the airport premises for this one. In fact, there isn’t even a photo of me in Zurich, so I will need to go back for a proper visit. I put it on the list, though, because I was in the airport for about ten hours of my life. I slept on a random restaurant booth for a lot of it. (except for when Caty and I attempted to figure our the bus system and get to the city center. Yeah, that didn’t work out.) The picture is of the Swiss Alps as we flew from Zurich to Venice for the start of our Mediterranean cruise that was our mid-semester break.

9. Venice, Italy

This was my first encounter with Italy and I loved every single minute. From the gelato to the canals, Venice was really impressive. We had a day and a half in Venice before our cruise departed from the city and began its tour. We used that time to see as much of the city as possible. We went in a few churches, had several gelato stops and even took time to see a few art exhibits. The city is just so different because of its waterways. It is an awesome city to get lost in and at times, i think I was actually lost in it! I got another day in Venice because our cruise ported there at the end and we had a day before our flight left. Seeing it again was great and I could definitely use a third round of Venice.

10. Ancona, Italy

Most of these write-ups have been extremely positive, partly because the places are just insanely awesome and partly because I was a giddy American traveling throughout Europe. Ancona, however, is not a place I would suggest to anyone. It was the first stop on our cruise for some reason and literally the only thing I saw was more  ocean. We made the best of our time there, but if you are looking for a hidden gem of the Italian coast, Ancona wasn’t it for me.

11. Mykonos, Greece

This place was so great I had to upload two photos. But really, during the cruise we had an entire day (from about 9 a.m. to 11 p.m.) in Mykonos. We spent a lot of time on Paradise Beach, and then spent time in the city at night. My favorite part of Greece? Gyros. What I would give to have a Greek gyro available at all times and taste like the ones in Mykonos. The cityscape was awesome, with stark white buildings and bright blue accents running throughout. Mykonos was probably my favorite stop on the cruise.

12. Athens, Greece

If you know me, you know my favorite Disney movie is Hercules. Well, let me just say that we have a few hours to get in all we could of Athens, Greece, and we did a great job that day thanks to the help of one of those cheesy bus tours. This picture is of us at the Parthenon. We got in for free because we are students (winning) and saw some of the oldest ruins in the world up close and personal. There is much of Athens I didn’t see and I think a return trip is in order.

13. Corfu, Greece

It was another one those places that was nice, but apparently not nice enough for me to think to get a photo of myself actually in the City. We had a few hours there and we enjoyed our time, but we all kind of wished we had planned an excursion for this day because apparently the city wasn’t the best part of Corfu. If you go, make sure to take a kayak adventure, we heard this was really amazing. Add it to the redo list, too.

14. Dubrovnik, Croatia

Wow. That was my first thought as I stepped foot in Dubrovnik. I had never heard of this place until the cruise itinerary. It used to be its own country and still has city walls that surround amazing buildings and pathways. The cliffs along its beaches have awesome caves and caverns that could have inspired several of Owl City’s songs, if you ask me. Dubrovnik is worth the trip. The people were really nice and the views were the best part. The building behind me in the photo above with Colleen looked like it was straight out of Narnia, Prince Caspian.

15. Brussels, Belgium

On our way back from the cruise we had a really long lay over, during the day, in Brussels. So we took a train to the city center and explored. It has one of the most beautiful city squares in all of Europe, with buildings like I have never seen. Food wise, the waffles were incredible. In this picture Colleen and I have Leonidas waffles before walking around Brussels.

16. Rome, Italy

Following the cruise, I took a travel break. My internship began and travel time availability was definitely shortened. I explored London much more and really got familiar with the City. But then, all of a sudden, I was really over the cloudy days and darkness that started at 3:30 p.m. here in London. So, the girls found cheap flights to Rome for a weekend and we went. One of my roommates here, Brent, was also in Rome that weekend. Pretty knowledgeable about Rome after working there this summer, he showed us amazing places to eat and tour. Some of the best times were just walking around the city and joking around, like in the above photograph with one of the public fountains that people still use for public consumption.

17. Marrakech, Morocco

The travel bug bit us and we had to take one last trip before we go back to America. So naturally we chose to go to Africa. I really couldn’t believe when we finally booked our tickets to Morocco and I kept counting down the days until we left. We researched and researched Marrakech before going and that really made our trip much better. Our riad was really incredible and the Moroccan people were incredibly nice, perhaps the nicest of any people group I have met. We went on an all day excursion for one of our days that allowed us to hike through the Atlas mountains and ride a camel! The pictures above are of me feeding a young camel, followed by the main city square in the morning and then a picture of one willow tree that is sustained by a waterfall in the middle of the Atlas mountains. Morocco was my favorite travel experience of my time in London and I would go back for the mint tea and people alone. (except the creepers who always hit on the girls haha!)

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Well, there it all is: one year, seventeen incredible places and an unlimited amount of memories. My 2011 was insanely blessed beyond measure. There were valleys, but I feel like the peaks were so high the valleys were easy to overcome. I really don’t know what I did to deserve such an amazing year. But I do know that it wouldn’t have been possible without amazing people in my life, like my mother, who has made so much available to me.

On Sunday I travel back to America where I will spend a few days in Dallas before heading to Honolulu, HI to finally see my mom. After a little more than a week there (including a trip to Hilo, on the Big Island) I will head back to Texas where I will see a Heisman trophy winner play with my Baylor Bears in the Alamo Bowl that I am attending with Alyssa and Cailtin and their families. I will then get to spend some time with extended family in San Antonio before heading to Austin for NYE with a few of my closest and best friends. After that, it is 2012: the year I graduate from college. I had no clue 2011 had this much in store for me, and I can’t fathom what 2012 will bring, but I am ready.

Three Out of Four Ain’t Bad

November 23, 2011 in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

 

My collegiate career (which is, unfortunately and at the same time fortunately, dwindling) included a lot of time in the Lariat newsroom. Often times, I say that with spite. But, if I am being completely honest, I have a lot of thanks to give for my time at the Lariat. Aside from preparing me for my future, I met three of the best people on this planet: Brittany, Jessica and Sommer.

Jessica did the same program I am apart of now last Fall. She decided to come visit during this week of Thanksgiving. (Her gracious parents gifted the trip to her as a congratulations on graduating this December!) When I went to pick up Jessica at the airport Saturday morning, I was running late thanks to the Tube. When I finally got to the international arrivals area, I looked around, ran toward the arrivals screen then saw that her plane made it on time. I looked around to see if I could spot her in the crowd. Across the room at one of the computers I saw her! I B-lined over and gave her a huge hug!

When I set her down (Yes, that means I picked her up during the hug.) She just looked at me in anticipation. I didn’t know why. Then she pointed to her left — IT WAS SOMMER INGRAM.

I was stunned. And picked her up and gave her a big hug. I just couldn’t believe she was here! Then I looked around to see if my favorite red head was anywhere to be found. Unfortunately, she wasn’t! It didn’t damper my excitement, and I partly think God knew London couldn’t handle all four of us taking this city by storm.

This week has been phenomenal, I really missed my friends from back home and this break for them was a perfect time for me to be reminded of just how lucky I am. But today, I remembered something else: that friendship, near or far, is the same. These three of my closest friends have been here for me, without being here. And even though Brittany isn’t here, she is still actively involved in my life and helps me out often.

I am blessed with other amazing friends, too. Too many, really, to name them all. But, like I said, the four of us have an experience that can never be recreated to bond us together: The Lariat. And we all have the fleeces to prove it. 

It is really nice to have Sommer and Jessica here to laugh with, reminisce with and make new memories here in this gorgeous city. The two of them remind me of the numerous people in my life back home who care about me and who I care for; the people who I can’t wait to hang out with and catch up on life with. Having two friends in the flesh simply reminded me that the life I had to leave for this experience didn’t just stop. I have so much to catch up on. So many stories, so many struggles, so many opportunities to invest in other people.

I miss a lot of things about home. (like my amazing mother) But one thing I can say, without a doubt, I never want to give up or forget about is the feeling I get from helping a friend in need. I read this quote from Mother Teresa today:

At the end of our lives we will not be judged by how many diplomas we have received, how much money we have made or how many great things we have done.
We will be judged by: I was hungry and you gave me to eat. I was naked and you clothed me. I was homeless and you took me in.
Hungry not only for bread — but hungry for love.
Naked not only for clothing— but naked of human dignity and respect.
Homeless not only for want of a room of bricks — but homeless because of rejection.
This is Christ in distressing disguise.

These people in need don’t have to be strangers. In fact, I think some days we are more caring and loving toward strangers than the very people who keep us going every day — our friends.

It was really nice to realize how good of friends my Lariat co-workers turned best friends are because near or far, these three girls have always — and will always — be there for me. And if I can be a friend to anyone else like they have been to me, then I think I am taking steps in the right direction.

I miss you all and this Thanksgiving (I don’t care if the Brits ignore the holiday, I am celebrating) I am thankful for each and every person who reminds me daily to die to myself and live more like Jesus.

 

Finding stability, then pressing on

November 18, 2011 in Christianity, Life, writing | 1 comment

Why don’t we enjoy not having control? I think it is an innate quality that can be traced back to the Fall… but it bothers me that I can’t make myself change and be OK when things are outside of my control.

Talk about some hard thinking that sentence induces: I don’t like that I can’t FORCE myself to STOP forcing my life’s path. Man, I have problems.

Sorry to say, we all do. But what kind of journey would we live if we didn’t have to climb?
We can walk the plains of life and live flat lives. Or we can point to the peaks, take the anger we put into our tantrums when things don’t go our way, and run toward our goals.

If we fail on the way, aren’t we still higher than when we started? And if we made it that far, doesn’t that mean our goal is that much closer?

Your attempt wasn’t a failure. It was a step.

We have altered the size of failure into some gargantuan, insurmountable wall. We hate failure because we don’t think it will happen. We assume success is a simple leap away. But nothing worth having is that easy, as they say.

Work hard. Love yourself harder. But never, ever stop. Expecting the delays and the failures puts you in control.

And if you do find yourself stuck, just look back. See how far you’ve come and know you aren’t there anymore. You’ve progressed. You’re closer than you have ever been. And you didn’t get there by wallowing. Take some time, gain some perspective and get back up. That’s how you get in control of life: you become OK with failure.

You recognize that it exists. You look it in the face, and suddenly that insurmountable wall is a small hurdle.

These hurdles can be beaten fairly easily. And once we are on the other side, our ego inflates. And sure, there are things we have persuaded ourselves to think we did all on our own. But what I am learning more and more is that doing things on your own is doing things the wrong way. Because we weren’t made to do things on our own. We are very much a dependent species, and that isn’t a bad thing.

You shouldn’t be afraid of being dependent, you should be afraid of who you are dependent on —  if it’s anyone other than Christ, you’ll be let down. I know, it sounds cliche and Sunday School to say you should lean on Christ. That cliche mindset is what has pushed us away, though, and we can’t let our desire for a complex philosophical understanding of the Gospel blur the very basic idea that we are incapable of any valuable action without Him.

One of the things I missed because of the cliche mindset: that my unruly emotions can be tamed through time in the Word of God.

“But our emotions shouldn’t be vested with final authority. This should be reserved for God’s Word alone.”

- C.J. Mahaney, Living the Cross Centered Life [page 41]

We aren’t incapable of making decisions for ourselves. We are simply given far clearer direction when we stay in His Word. This is when the over used “God just told me that this is right,” response actually wouldn’t bother me when I used it. Time and time again I would tell myself that I just felt God was leading me this or that way. Sure, maybe He was. But I will confess that most of those times I just assumed that what I wanted was what I should do according to His will. It may have been. But making the decision without consulting the people in my life, the Word and with no time in prayer is a big gamble.

Putting emotions before the advice and wisdom of the Word and the advice of your most trusted supporters makes no sense. We wonder why we have no control? But we have the capability to have all of the control. We choose to listen or to rebel. We choose to make a decision after due diligence or just on a whim. Sometimes our decisions create chaos, and sometimes there are no immediate consequences.

Searching for a way to stabilize your life is one of the first peaks for which to aim. Stability should be your landmark on your journey– chaos, frustration and a constant stirring is a sign to look back; to take a moment for reflection and discernment.

Humans are a wayward race; we have a tendency to stray. Lucky for us, we are never left alone, He is always there.

“God is glorified when we believe with all our hearts that those who trust in Christ can never be condemned.”

- C.J. Mahaney, Living the Cross Centered Life

BLEEP — It’s not a curse word

November 15, 2011 in BLEEP, Life, writing | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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If we are Facebook friends or if we follow one another on twitter, at the start of every other month you will see me send off links accompanied by a few !!!! and the words “proud” “check it out” and “Sic ‘em Bears.” But most certainly the word BLEEP was in there, too. It’s the title of a nearly one-year old digital magazine based out of New York that I have been contributing to for a few issues now.

Recently, the editor in chief (a Baylor and BU Student Publications alum) Ryan Brinson, asked me if I would like to take on more responsibilities on the web side of things– dealing with social media, the website and getting more people reading the magazine. After working on my website throughout the summer, I actually have really found a new hobby. I wish I had more time to dedicate to understanding all of the intricacies and what not, but at a very basic level, I have enjoyed maintaining my blog and website. At The Lariat, I really enjoyed using our paper’s social media outlets to inform people and I am interested to see how I can sharpen those skills when it comes to promoting and managing the online presence of an arts and culture magazine.

The blog post before this was about a concert I went to last week — and the whole time I couldn’t help but compare that band to what is happening over at BLEEP. A group of talented people, coming together for a common goal — entertain and enlighten people. BLEEP is a perfect name for this. Expression, uncensored, is featured on the pages of this magazine. As you flip through, you see face after face of aspiring actors, musicians and designers– all talented, all deserving a spotlight.

BLEEP is there to shed that light. To help the aspiring turn professional. To help the professional turn well-known. To help the reader stay informed. So, from here on out I am the Online Media Editor at BLEEP and will be much more active once I finish this semester abroad. I am looking forward to the new position a lot and I am hoping all of you will head over and give a few of the past magazines a read!

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How to follow BLEEP:
Facebook: BLEEP Magazine

Twitter: @BLEEPmag

Website: www.bleepmag.com

For the current issue click here

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